Monday, November 3, 2008

Downgrade. And some attempt at humor.

There is one proverb that I always liked. I even use it as my everyday motto:

"Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious".

I googled for it, and discovered a whole slueth of the things i liked and laughed to. Here's the list of sayings that I like, even if I don't agree with some of them.

"I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good either." - typical for any IT involved person

"I love deadlines. I especially love the swooshing sound they make as they go flying by." - again i can use this almost every day

"Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?" - oh, Lordy! If i had 10 cents everytime i COULD say that.

"Someday we'll look back on this and plow into a parked car." - mmm, maybe not plow... but red light definitely.

"There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives."

"Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it."

"Accept that somedays you're the pigeon, and somedays you're the statue." - I actually perefer that dog - i prefer the dog and the fire hydrant analogy.

"I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem." - i'll just keep quiet on this one.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and
thought to myself - "Where the hell is the ceiling???"

"My reality check bounced." - every day

"On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key. "

"Don't meddle in the affairs of dragons, cuz, like, you're crunchy and taste good with ketchup."

"Everybody is somebody else's wierdo... " - true to the last period

"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you." - it could be offending to some, but i find this funny.

"Never clean your room while your plane ticket is in it." - again, very true.

"When ideas fail, words become very handy." - i've seen that at the office too many times.

"The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant." - is this the election year?

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." - a rule to live by for any programmer.

"There is always one more imbecile than you counted on." - that's my other motto, and one of Murphy's Law derivatives.

"It's only premarital sex if you're going to get married." - good observation.

"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm."

"The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes." - ding ding

"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense." - YES!

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.

"Never put your finger where you wouldn't put your nose."

"There are two kinds of people in the world, those that think there are two kinds of people in the world, and those that know better." - sad really

"We occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of us pick ourselves up and hurry on as if nothing happened."

"If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly."

"An agreeable person is someone who agrees with you." - the more people like that the better

"The wonder of a single snowflake outweighs the wisdom of a million meteorologists." - that should be posted on the cubicle of any weather-man/ woman in Chicago.

"When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water."

"You can't help the poor man by destroying the rich." - again somewhat related to the current elections.

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer." - mmmmmmmmmmmm, beer.

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks."

"Wise man make proverbs but fools repeat them." - YES, I AM IN THE CLUB

Do you know any other profound proverbs?

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26.5 miles per gallon

Created by The Car Connection



Although i like the md-size sedans. Car of choice almost anytime.

Stolen from Jim

2 comments:

Ilya said...

I got 28.5 miles, same category as you. Don't feel like posting on my blog, though.

Good collection of proverbs - many to live by!

Konstantin said...

I am just not sure how the questions translate into the result. Miles per gallon of what. Chocolate? Then it would be too little. Alcohol? Then it would be too much. :) Cheese? I am not sure if that's even accountable, as the numbers go up astronomically.